It can be fixed

"But, it can be fixed."

I repeated that to myself yesterday a couple times as I stared down at my ring, now missing its diamond. When it lost its diamond? I'm not sure. I've worn my wedding ring so long its become a part of me. One that, though I don't look and admire every day, is a part of my heart that rests on my finger.

As the gaping hole that held the diamond glares at me, mocking me, the tears well.

"Don't be a baby, Amber. We'll replace the diamond and it'll be fine."

It doesn't work. It's so silly. I've never been a girl of jewelry or, well, girlie things. The ring is the only jewelry I wear 95% of the time. (98% if I'm being honest.)

But this is more than jewelry. This symbolizes a history and a life my husband and I created for us and our children.

You see, my husband and I married when we were dirt poor. The older two were about the age the younger two are now. We were two young parents struggling in the world, barely making the rent and groceries, let alone getting married.

Due to finances, and my aversion to bulky jewelry, a friend of ours took us to the city with her jewelers license to a 3-story building that held wholesalers. 4 hours. Yup, 4 hours for us to dig through the building and find a ring that fit my style and our pocket book.

And man did it. A simple Cupid's arrow wrapping around the finger with one small diamond for the arrow head and a tiny diamond for the arrow point.

I've worn this ring while we continued to build a better life for our two older children, and when we stabilized we had two more and continued striving every day to sustain our happiness and celebrate the love of family under our roof.

So, realizing that, I let myself have a good cry. Then, I assured myself the ring will still mean the same thing with a brand new diamond and continued my preparations for the younger boys and I's trip to the movies today.

Life really is about the ups and downs and I have to understand that symbols aren't the core of the emotion, but what they represent must go beyond that symbol or it's not sustainable.

Wow, Time, you move fast!

So, yeah, about that time flying thing, is that an understatement or what? I used to keep a family blog, the original The Norris Ranch, but haven't posted in it since August 2011.

August 2011, man! (And what a random post to hold as a finale.) It seems that it my activity was long enough ago the blog doesn't register on my blog list anymore, hence this new blog.

I'd been driven to post in the family blog for months, but it felt a bit awkward. So much time had past. So much has happened. So many thoughts are running through my head.

Our oldest son is now in the Marines, our daughter is in college, and the little guys are fully entrenched in the grade school drama zone. We've lost a fur baby, our beloved lab Drake, and gained a new fur baby, Princess Pepper. Our cat still hates them with a fiery passion and makes his displeasure at their presence known whenever possible.

Hubby and I are down the parent journey far enough to have had a child absent from a major holiday already. Let me tell you, that is a wake up call!

My grandmother passed away, which breaks my heart every time I think about it. I often think back to one of my favorite moments with her, which I shared on my old family blog, titled Grandma's Wisdom. What a hell raiser she was and oh how I miss her.

Obviously I've survived my brain tumor surgery, though enough time has passed that it's starting to knock on the skull door once more. Not sure if I'm ready for that experience again.

The one constant in our home is still joy. Yes, there's the bickering that comes with 6 human beings living under one roof, of which 2 are super bossy to the others (parent job description numero uno is "bossy" afterall) but joy and love are the underpinning of our household. I think my kids have been raised to feel our home is a refuge from the stress and disappointments of the world, where they can feel accepted and regenerate themselves to head back out and conquer their dreams.

So, I promise my entries going forward won't be so serious and scripted, but I had to start some where, right? I'll even make sure to add photos where I can.

Ciao for now peeps!